It's a war on the holidays

I'm listening, but I haven't heard anything. I guess all the reporters have gone home for Christmas the Holidays.

Don't forget, there's a war on the Holidays! Many, many casualties. I even heard someone say "Merry Christmas" in a store the other day. Maybe even a civil war (Episcopalians v. Episcopalians). They're talking about a "surge" to try to fend off those evil elves. But, the generals think a surge might discourage the reindeer from taking matters into their own hands and refuse to pull the sleigh. Meanwhile, the leader says that until the reindeer stand up, we cannot stand down.