Breaking News

Washington, D.C. April 1, 2007 (AP) The White House announced this morning that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and her entourage were deemed to be in violation of government travel restrictions by visiting Syria and were thereby lending aid and comfort to a terrorist state. Consequently, the president has named Ms. Pelosi and her entourage as terrorist sympathizers, none of whom would be permitted to re-enter the United States at the conclusion of their trip.

Since there are several Democratic Congressmen travelling with Ms. Pelosi, the Democrats' majority in the House of Representatives will be substantially weakened by their absence, and the president's staff believes that, with the help of Blue Dog Democrats, Mr. Bush will now be able to move forward swiftly with his legislative agenda, particularly in funding the Iraq war without restrictions and reinstating his expiring tax cuts.

[Note to readers. If you haven't gotten it yet, examine the date on the dateline and think again.]