The Evil Cult of Al-Gebra

I just came across the following among the comments by someone named Lima at Americablog:

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a New York City teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, protractor, set square, slide rule and calculator.

At a morning press conference, a White House spokesman said authorities believe the man is a member of Al-Gebra. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult," the spokesman said. "They desire average solutions my means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of the mediaeval, with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer used to say, 'there are three sides to every triangle.'"

When asked to comment, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."